You are not alone!
For a man or an older boy to come to terms with his sexual attraction to boys is often difficult – sometimes even traumatic. Most such males have an inner sense of their attractions from their teens or even earlier, but in today's hysterical climate they tend to repress and deny their feelings. The path to self-acceptance varies among individuals; for a few, it is short and straightforward, for others, it can be long and complex, and for some it is a dead end. But for those who find their way to the light, the moment of self-understanding is only the beginning of the process of learning how to live in a hostile culture and hopefully to finding fulfilling ways of interacting with the boys to whom they are attracted.
Boylove:Boylove (BL) refers to an emotional and sexual attraction that some men have towards prepubescent or adolescent boys. An attraction toward children or adolescents is on average no stronger or more obsessive than an attraction toward adults and the vast majority of boylovers can control their feelings as do all responsible people. Boylovers tend to experience a deep love and affection for boys to whom they are attracted. They desire to get to know them, care for them, and develop a close emotional bond with them. They enjoy their personalities and celebrate their abilities and accomplishments.
As with gays and lesbians, these feelings are a deep and enduring aspect of a boylover's psychological make-up and for this reason, we consider BL to be an orientation, although those in the mental health profession yet not agreed on this question. Like all other people, boylovers do not choose their orientation and it is not known what causes it. Most boylovers have normal childhoods, and most boys who grow up in dysfunctional or abusive homes do not grow up to be boylovers. Many boylovers who have attempted to change their orientation say their ability to love others and their self-esteem has been severely damaged. Similarly, in the case of gays and lesbians, the American Psychiatric Association claims that re-orientation efforts usually are ineffective.